


Don't Mock the Little Guy

by BagtheBagisnotaBag



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Come Shot, Crack, Foreskin Play, M/M, Macro/Micro, Size Difference, Smut, The Full Sex, so not really sounding, sounding??? but with a tiny John Dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 01:46:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15939227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BagtheBagisnotaBag/pseuds/BagtheBagisnotaBag
Summary: -- ghostyTrickster [GT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --TG: waitTG: did jade shrink youTG: holy fuck did your sister shrink you that is hilariousGT: yTG: hahahaTG: fucking hell she got you good that is so funnyTG: brb i have to congratulate her real quick-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGonstic [GG] --TG: i just heard the news and i am fucking laughing my ass offTG: how small did you make himGG: thumb size!GG: you have to come see him dave. he is so cute!! :DTG: marvelousTG: ill be right there





	Don't Mock the Little Guy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheMockingCrows](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMockingCrows/gifts), [Elby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elby/gifts).



\-- ghostyTrickster [GT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--  


TG: sup  
TG: …  
TG: did you open this chat by accident  
TG: ?  
TG: what is up my main motherfucker I am dying to know what your deal is at the moment  
TG: is this some kind if weird silent treatment  
TG: kinky  
TG: though it isnt really my jam im more into loud whoreish moaning than complete silence  
GT: hlp jde shrnkm  
TG: what was that i dont read keysmash  
TG: i didnt take that language class in clown academy it was a bit above my learning level  
TG: you know i would have if youd told me you were going to use it as your only form of communication in some kinky fit of desperate lust  
GT: stop  
TG: k

You stop. You wonder what is up with him though. Those were some long pauses. He’d been out all day with his sister and is actually due back pretty soon. Though it’s not like you were waiting at the door eager for your boyfriend to come home. He might not even be back on time. He can do what he wants. You don't own him. 

Last time he hung out with Jade he’d gotten too drunk while they watched Bill Cosby re-runs and had had to crash at her place. No problem. You handled not having your boyfriend drooling on the pillow next to yours like a pro, like a pillow hugging pro.

But you haven’t seen his typing get this bad before. Is he too smashed to even type anything? But that doesn’t feel like the answer. He did say ‘stop’. So he isn’t incapable of coherent spelling. It must be something else.

Your Pesterchum pings. It’s John again.

GT: jade shtunk me  
TG: what  
TG: that was almost words  
TG: jade shtunk you hmm  
GT: shr  
TG: dude i am struggling here what are you trying to say  
TG: wait  
TG: did jade shrink you  
TG: holy fuck did your sister shrink you that is hilarious  
GT: y  
TG: hahaha  
TG: fucking hell she got you good that is so funny  
TG: brb i have to congratulate her real quick

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGonstic [GG] \--

TG: i just heard the news and i am fucking laughing my ass off  
TG: how small did you make him  
GG: thumb size!  
GG: you have to come see him dave. he is so cute!! :D  
TG: marvelous  
TG: ill be right there  
TG: you are such a beautiful person you fucking magnificent witch you  
GG: thank you :p  
GG: it is pretty great isnt it?  
GG: now who is the pranking master! thats right! it is me! hehehe haha hoho!!!  
TG: keep working on the cackle ill be over in ten

 

GT: sav me pls  
TG: no problem boss just hang in there im coming right over

\- - -

Jade is grinning like a loon when she opens the door. “Dave! You made it! Come in, come in.” She steps back for you to follow her inside. “John is sooooo pissed. But also too small to do anything about it. It’s not like _he_ has Space magic!” 

“You son of a gun. You do realize what you’ve done, don’t you? You have unleashed the wrath of the Prankster’s Gambit. That is a dangerous road, my friend.” Jade just cackles at you and leads you into her lounge. She’s been practicing her witch cackle for a while now and you have to say that in audio form rather than text form she has it down pretty well. 

As soon as you step into the lounge something smacks you in the face. You step back with a yell, freaking the fuck out a little, only for it to climb up into your hair. You pluck it out ready to thro-. Oh, fuck, it’s John. 

John wiggles around in your grip. Man, that is one angry little dude. You lift him up to your face, releasing him enough so he can sit on your hand. “Hey, John. You ready to get home?” John floats up off your hand. His tiny arms are crossed. 

Even though he’s smaller his Wind magic still seems to be the same size. The Breeze whirls around you, picking up papers and random objects before Jade steps past you and sticks her hands out in her go-to magic gesture. All the objects freeze even though you can still feel the Wind streaming past. Space beats Wind. It is law.

“I’ll get Johns stuff.” Jade says, still magicking all the floating items to be still.

“What where’s his stuff? You didn’t shrink it too?” That explains the bugged messages he sent you. His phone must be twice as big as him right about now, it’s a miracle he could even get the pin number in.

“I thought it’d be funnier that way.” John’s phone, wallet, and keys appear in her hand. All the floating objects float back to their places. Man, you wish you had as much control on Time as Jade does on Space. She is truly a god among mortals and she uses that power to prank shrink her brother. Nice.

You take Johns stuff from her while John glowers. There’s a small chance you’ll be getting the same retribution as Jade does when her time comes. Choosing your boyfriend's sister over your boyfriend - even you know you made the wrong choice there.

You wave to Jade as you follow the floating John out the door. Your car is parked right outside.

When you get inside the car you try to make John use the seatbelt, insisting you aren’t going to drive him home unless John buckles up, but a tiny whisper in your ear informs you that “Fuck you, Dave. Just take me home.”

You take him home. 

John turns into air as soon as you’re near your house, scaring the everliving crap out of you when you can’t find the tiny little man in the car. But the breeze tugs at you to go inside and there you find John. It’s eight pm on the weekend and John is three inches tall.

Is it bad that you find it kind of hot? You say, “Is it bad that I find this kind of hot?”

Johns breeze whispers back at you, “What, really?” He flies up to your eye level again. “But I’m so small! I can’t _do_ anything like this!” 

You roll your eyes, “Jade isn’t vindictive. She’ll turn you back. It’s the weekend, why not enjoy your current state while it lasts?” But seriously you find this kind of hot. Why can’t Time powers be this hot? If you could, you would be doing kinky shit like this all the time.

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re not small.” John flies above your head and you feel him land in your hair. 

“Is it really so bad?” You ask. You don’t actually want him to be miserable, no matter how much you tease him. 

“Well… I guess it’s not _that_ bad. It’s OK. Your hair’s really weird like this.” You can feel him moving around up there, “Hehe, did you know you have dandruff?”

“I do not. If anything you’re the dandruff.” You grumble. You walk to your bedroom all the while John fusses about with your hair. It’s kind of nice. “What do you want to do like this anyway?” 

John hmmmmmm’s for a second, then brightens, “Hey! I have an idea! You should let me see your dick!” John flies upside down into your sight. 

That was unexpected. “Not if you’re going to insult it too.” John pouts. You’re actually hella into John seeing your dick. You just want him to work for it. 

You flop down on the bed. It’s been a long day for you and you’re pooped. With all the Time loops you’ve been running, it’s been over fourteen hours since you woke up late this morning. (14 hours. 11 minutes. 53 seconds. 6 mil… Time informs you) “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” John lands on the bedside table. 

“Now _that_ is an offer I can’t refuse. Now you’re learning. I respond best to bribes not barbs.” 

“Yusss.” The Wind tells you. You feel rather than hear when John moves. He lands right on your buckle and starts tugging. “Hey, Dave.” John struggles to tug your huge belt open with his tiny hands, “If you want your dick sucked you need to take your pants off.” That gets your dick stirring. He knows you love oral. But it begs the question. How would he even suck it? He’s too small.

“What, no buildup, no nothin? I am a sweet maiden flower who needs to be courted.” John huffs out a gust of annoyance and changes tack. He manages to wiggles your fly down and then climbs inside. “Shit, John. I'm gonna bust a nut in my slacks if you keep fondling me like that.”

You can feel him moving around in there between your jeans and your boxers. He shimmies over your clothed dick. You hope he doesn’t get squished by the appearance of your sudden boner. What a way to go. His tiny voice is as clear as anything over the Wind. “Unbuckle your pants then!”

“I’m right on it. No sweat.” You undo your belt, being careful to not squish John in the process. You’re still on your back on the bed which means that John is just sitting on the lump that is your cloth covered dick once you manage to open your pants up. It is marvelously freeing. You have decided - the rest of the clothes have to go. 

“Get off for a second. I’m just going to take everything off. No point wasting time.” John floats up obligingly as you shuck your clothes, stripping your pants and boxers off and pulling your shirt over your head, before lying back down again. 

John lands on your stomach. It tickles but not in a bad way. “Wow. This is neat.” He says staring down at your half hard cock.

Your dick twitches as John shifts over your stomach, so close to sensitive areas. He’s been up close and personal with your junk many times before but for some reason, you’re feeling nervous this time. You guess he _is_ closer than ever. He must be able to see every flaw and vein.

John sort of climb/floats onto your dick where it’s laying against your hip. He lays himself down over it. “It’s so warm. So soft.” It’s the tiniest pressure when John rubs his hands up and down the shaft but you can still feel yourself stiffening at his touch. 

You had no idea that this was a kink for you but apparently it is. Sweet fucking Jesus.

You prop yourself up on an elbow so you can get a better look. John has wrapped himself around your dick and is mushing his face up against it. He takes a big wet lick with his tongue and your dick twitches under him, jolting him. “That is one big meat popsicle you’ve got there.” You say, “How do you plan on doing anything with it?” You don’t think you’d mind whatever John decides to do with it. He has never failed you so far.

“I don’t know! Fuck it maybe?” Wait, what? Suddenly your boner is lifting John up into the air, he clings tighter and the foreskin shifts down, pulled by John’s weight. “Ha ha! So that’s what sets you off, eh? You want to be fucked?” His voice squeaks in your ear. How the hell did you fall for this dork? You are sad to say that he is as hot as he thinks he is. 

You shift back on the bed so you can lean against the backrest. “You know it. Fuck me, little daddy, I am primed and ready to go.” You don’t know what you’re saying anymore. John laughs into your dick, a weird sensation that in no way downs your raging boner. 

“OK, OK. Stop. I have a better idea.” John climbs round to stand below your stomach, bracing himself on your pubes. He lifts your dick up to its full hard length with the help of all the blood rushing south. He is at least two heads shorter than it. Dick heads, that is. “Let me try something.” John braces himself, hugging as far around your dick as he can, and starts jerking it off with full body squats. 

Fuck. That actually feels really good. You groan and stretch your legs out further but even that slight movement unstabilizes John who falls over backwards onto your stomach dragging your dick with him. “Haha. That almost worked for a second.” John huffs out a breezy laugh at his brief workout and you chuckle with him. “Don’t worry! We _will_ succeed in getting you off yet, Dave.” 

“Oh, swoon. You are my night in shining armor, it is you. Save me from the evil blue balls of doom.” You say. 

“I shall prevail! This beast hasn’t thwarted me yet!” John continues to cling to your dick where it has flopped on top of him. He starts pumping his arms up and down and licking at any skin he can reach. He breaks away from his tongue adventure, “This is harder than it looks.”

“That's what she said.” You cannot be stopped. 

“Do you wanna go punk? Are we gonna do this?” Angry John starts moving faster, making your dick drip as it’s aggressively jerk-hugged. If he keeps going at this rate you actually will nut.

John starts thrusting up into his full body arm movements. You think you can feel his tiny boner through his tiny John pants. You really want to see his tiny John dick. “How come I’m the only one naked here. Pull your weight, John. Get to it.”

“You think I’m not pulling my weight!?” John says panting and offended. 

You moan. Point taken. He is definitely pulling some kind of weight. But also you really want to see John naked so you reach down and lift your dick back up, John still clinging and humping the underside, and pluck John from his perch. 

“Hey!” John wiggles in your grip, somehow managing to stick his legs out from between two of your fingers. You pause and he doesn’t. You can feel where John’s dick is pressed up against your middle finger and apparently John feels it too because he starts up humping again in earnest. 

“Oh.” That is incredibly hot. You feel a drop of precome roll down the head of your own dick. 

John’s tiny dick is a hot hard line against the inside of your finger. Every roll of his hips jolts down through your core to add to the heat that has settled in your belly. He moans and your dick twitches where it’s sticking up in the air all blushing and swollen. “Fuck, Dave.” He says and then he is reaching into his pants for his dick at the same time as you reach for yours. That is to say, you bring your John hand up to your Dave dick. 

John stands up in your hand and shoves his pants down. They’re so small, you lament as the tiny pair of jeans tumble out of your hand. His tiny boxers follow them. 

And then, without preamble, John shoves his micro penis in your pee hole. 

You have to steady your dick with your other hand just so you don’t twitch him out again. 

You wheeze.

Shit.

He said he was going to fuck you but.

Welp.

You are fucked. 

John is gripping at the ridge of your dick head better to brace himself as he leans full body into your dick. He thrusts in and out of your hole accompanied by the faint wet slap of his hips against your pre-slicked glans. You feel your balls tighten as you are overwhelmed. You squeeze yourself around the base of your shaft where you’re holding your dick up for John to fuck.

You’re heart speeds up as you are overcome with sensation.

John wreaks you. You don’t want him to stop.

John is moaning up a storm. The Wind whistles past you and fills the room, amplifying John’s desperate noises as he Fucks your dick hole.

You can no longer move the hand gripping your shaft for fear of busting a nut right then and there. Your balls have practically inverted, pulled tight against your pelvis as your whole body tenses, close to the brink. 

Time pounds in your head, stretching thin. You clutch at it, desperate to stay in this moment. Desperate to not warp to a different point in the Time-line. 

John has fewer qualms about losing control. You are lifted up in the air along with all the cushions as the tiny John shudders against the head of your dick and goes still. 

Your head tips back and you curl inwards, somehow managing not to dislodge John, and then you are coming. You shake and manage not to fall apart as you do. 

John is pushed up from your dick by the first pulse of come, he flounders then manages to sit back on your hand, watching as you ooze out in pulses. 

As you shiver one more time you are floated back down to the mattress, John’s Wind calming. Your own tight reign on your magic eases at you step away from the beat and pulse of Time at your center and finally go lax. 

John speaks. You blink your eyes open to look down at him. “Well, that was fun. Do you think Jade would shrink me again if I asked her to?” You can just make out his cheeky grin through the come on his face.

“Nah, I don’t think so. Not if I ask her to shrink me first.” John looks back at you, interest peaked. “And there is no way you can beat me in getting to her. Time-travel is faster then Wind-walking”

Now that you know that this exists there is no way you aren’t doing this again. John laughs and you chuckle alongside him. Magic, man. Who knew it could be so sexy?

**Author's Note:**

> i may have taken the size difference prompt to the extreme...


End file.
